Me and My Shadow: An Actor’s Life

I guess I should wrap up a few loose ends from previous posts:

To be blunt, the trip to Shreveport was a bust. Although I did get the callback, I didn’t get the gig. Callbacks don’t pay. Not in $$$ at least. Emotionally, they pay a bit, but that currency is usually spent by the time the actor finds out if he got the gig…or not.

[Oh isn't that nice. Trying to remain positive are we?]

Ahem…So…I’m 0 for 3 for my last 3 auditions. Not a good ratio. And a worse trend…if it is a trend. Good comments from the casting directors, but no jobs. And that’s the way it goes sometimes. I’ve been going through this routine for many years. I wish I could say it gets easier. And sometimes it does. Pardon me while I try to think of a time when it got easier….Hummm…

[Pardon me while I vomit. Is this going anywhere?]

Hey! I put up with you because I have to. You’re a part of me. I may not like you but you are a part of me. Just take a back seat for awhile, jackass. You’ve been out front just a little too much lately. I just have some thoughts I’d like to express. Is that okay?

[Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.]

Clever.

Okay here’s a possibility:

When the work opportunities are plentiful, 3 auditions are nothing. Literally nothing. You audition, you get the gig or you don’t and you move on. Knowing that the next one, or the next will go your way and you’ll be employed again. At least for a short time.

[This is CLASSIC. Please don't stop.]

PART of the reality of working in a regional market is that the opportunities are fewer than in a larger market like Los Angeles. So each opportunity…each audition…takes on greater importance.

[Yeah but in a larger market there is much more competition and...]

…SHUT UP. This is my blog, my time to think. If you want to stick your nose in get your own blog, dumbass.

[memememememem...touchy]

Another part of the reality is that almost any acting job (the exception being a long running TV series)

[Like YOU know anything about a long running TV series. You do have a comedic flare.]

…God help me…almost any acting job is short term employment. Even the most successful actors are mostly unemployed and looking for or waiting for the next gig.

I remember years ago hearing Jack Lemmon

[Name dropper. Hey..tell them about the time you saw Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau backstage at that play you were doing in L.A. with Henry Fonda...come on name dropper...]

…OR SOMEONE LIKE HIM… talking about how he always felt the job he was on might well be his last. He actually said he always felt like he might never get hired again. That seemed unbelievable at the time. JACK LEMMON! Not sure if he’d ever work again. Give me a break.

[Give us all a break and GET TO THE POINT. IF THERE IS ONE.]

But over the years, I’ve come to understand the feeling well. Don’t get me wrong…I’m no Jack Lemmon…

[No comment.]

…don’t pretend to be.

[we're making progress]

The feeling of insecuity expressed by such an accomplished and successful actor as Mr. Lemmon is telling, I think. It’s at least one of the threads of commonality that binds all professional actors together, regardless of success or status.

[threads of commonality...not bad]

Here’s my take: no matter the income level, the real fear in never working again isn’t about the money. That’s not why we become actors.

[Bullshit! That's because you've never made the big money. Let's see you give up $200 thousand a picture, let alone $20 million and tell me it's not about the money! Get real.]

Well…that’s probably not always true, but go with me here… With actors..

[Don't worry...I ain't leaving this train wreck.]

…It’s about the work.

[Money.]

It’s about creating.

[Ego.]

It’s about passion.

[Chicks.]

For people of faith, it’s about fulfilling that yearning that God put in you to do what he created you to do.

[You're bringing God into this drivel? Oh waitress...could I get a Librium, please?]

There is tragedy in show business.

[I'm lookin' at it...oh wait...you said IN show buisness...never mind]

To me, the biggest tragedy is in identifying your passion, that yearning I spoke of above…and then not acting on it. Not seeing where it leads.

[This is leading to a nap. God wants me to nap.]

There is no place I’d rather spend my time than on a film set. I love it. I love the work.

[The boredom.]

The crews.

[Craft Service.]

Fellow actors. It has never ceased to be magic to me.

[What about that stupid Bermuda Triangle movie? You know, the one where they gave you that bad haircut and then you almost got fired as soon as you got to the set? Was that magic?]

‘Scuse me…gotta take care of something…be back shortly

[Here it comes...just don't make me pray.]

Me and My Shadow: An Actor’s Life

I guess I should wrap up a few loose ends from previous posts:

To be blunt, the trip to Shreveport was a bust. Although I did get the callback, I didn’t get the gig. Callbacks don’t pay. Not in $$$ at least. Emotionally, they pay a bit, but that currency is usually spent by the time the actor finds out if he got the gig…or not.

[Oh isn't that nice. Trying to remain positive are we?]

Ahem…So…I’m 0 for 3 for my last 3 auditions. Not a good ratio. And a worse trend…if it is a trend. Good comments from the casting directors, but no jobs. And that’s the way it goes sometimes. I’ve been going through this routine for many years. I wish I could say it gets easier. And sometimes it does. Pardon me while I try to think of a time when it got easier….Hummm…

[Pardon me while I vomit. Is this going anywhere?]

Hey! I put up with you because I have to. You’re a part of me. I may not like you but you are a part of me. Just take a back seat for awhile, jackass. You’ve been out front just a little too much lately. I just have some thoughts I’d like to express. Is that okay?

[Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.]

Clever.

Okay here’s a possibility:

When the work opportunities are plentiful, 3 auditions are nothing. Literally nothing. You audition, you get the gig or you don’t and you move on. Knowing that the next one, or the next will go your way and you’ll be employed again. At least for a short time.

[This is CLASSIC. Please don't stop.]

PART of the reality of working in a regional market is that the opportunities are fewer than in a larger market like Los Angeles. So each opportunity…each audition…takes on greater importance.

[Yeah but in a larger market there is much more competition and...]

…SHUT UP. This is my blog, my time to think. If you want to stick your nose in get your own blog, dumbass.

[memememememem...touchy]

Another part of the reality is that almost any acting job (the exception being a long running TV series)

[Like YOU know anything about a long running TV series. You do have a comedic flare.]

…God help me…almost any acting job is short term employment. Even the most successful actors are mostly unemployed and looking for or waiting for the next gig.

I remember years ago hearing Jack Lemmon

[Name dropper. Hey..tell them about the time you saw Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau backstage at that play you were doing in L.A. with Henry Fonda...come on name dropper...]

…OR SOMEONE LIKE HIM… talking about how he always felt the job he was on might well be his last. He actually said he always felt like he might never get hired again. That seemed unbelievable at the time. JACK LEMMON! Not sure if he’d ever work again. Give me a break.

[Give us all a break and GET TO THE POINT. IF THERE IS ONE.]

But over the years, I’ve come to understand the feeling well. Don’t get me wrong…I’m no Jack Lemmon…

[No comment.]

…don’t pretend to be.

[we're making progress]

The feeling of insecuity expressed by such an accomplished and successful actor as Mr. Lemmon is telling, I think. It’s at least one of the threads of commonality that binds all professional actors together, regardless of success or status.

[threads of commonality...not bad]

Here’s my take: no matter the income level, the real fear in never working again isn’t about the money. That’s not why we become actors.

[Bullshit! That's because you've never made the big money. Let's see you give up $200 thousand a picture, let alone $20 million and tell me it's not about the money! Get real.]

Well…that’s probably not always true, but go with me here… With actors..

[Don't worry...I ain't leaving this train wreck.]

…It’s about the work.

[Money.]

It’s about creating.

[Ego.]

It’s about passion.

[Chicks.]

For people of faith, it’s about fulfilling that yearning that God put in you to do what he created you to do.

[You're bringing God into this drivel? Oh waitress...could I get a Librium, please?]

There is tragedy in show business.

[I'm lookin' at it...oh wait...you said IN show buisness...never mind]

To me, the biggest tragedy is in identifying your passion, that yearning I spoke of above…and then not acting on it. Not seeing where it leads.

[This is leading to a nap. God wants me to nap.]

There is no place I’d rather spend my time than on a film set. I love it. I love the work.

[The boredom.]

The crews.

[Craft Service.]

Fellow actors. It has never ceased to be magic to me.

[What about that stupid Bermuda Triangle movie? You know, the one where they gave you that bad haircut and then you almost got fired as soon as you got to the set? Was that magic?]

‘Scuse me…gotta take care of something…be back shortly

[Here it comes...just don't make me pray.]

Have SAG Card, Will Travel

Wow…it’s been a hectic schedule lately…

The Texas based actor has to travel. The normal circuit is Austin -> Dallas -> Houston. Now you can add Shreveport, LA to the mix.

In the past week I’ve been to Dallas 3 times and Shreveport once. I think I’m too old for this! … With all the work that has moved to Louisiana (see previous post on film industry incentives) … it looks like if we Texas actors want to work, we’re going to be working at least some of the time in Louisiana. In Dallas I read for Roadhouse 2 ….I know, if you’ve seen Roadhouse, you’re probably thinking “is there really a NEED for Roadhouse 2″ …but actors like me don’t get to choose which project we will allow ourselves to be submitted for … the agent calls and we go. As previously stated in this blog, without work, there is no insurance…that’s medical insurance. So whether it’s Roadhouse 2, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 75, or whatever, I’m probably going to audition if I get the chance.

Now this often presents something of a moral dilemma. Do I really want to appear in either of the aforementioned epics? Well, from an aesthetic or moral perspective….NO. From a practical perspective (let’s see…wife has cancer….need insurance…must work to get/keep insurance) Yes.
So I find myself auditioning for things I’m not that wild about, to say the least. Welcome to the world of professional acting. Sometimes…it’s just a job. MOST of the time, it’s just a job. Sometimes you get to do DANCER, TX POP 81, but not often.

I was in Shreveport on Thursday to audition for a new FX series called THIEF . Financially, I’m not sure this audition is not worth the trip. It’s a day role and given that it’s costing me two days away from home + gas ($2.79 – $2.99/gal on the trip), it’s hard to justify on the money alone.

But, Fincannon & Assoc. are casting and I’ve never met the Fincannons. They’re a long established North Carolina company that has moved into Louisiana with all the film production there. So it’s worth the trip for the ‘promise’ of future auditions/work. I’m reading for ‘Preacher’. I love it when characters don’t have a real name…yeah…I love it. But, the role is well written and, I’ve played this type character, and enjoy doing so – see SCREEN DOOR JESUS.

Never having met anyone at Fincannon, I have to pre-read. That means I read with the CD before she presents me to the producer and/or director (who can hire or not). Pre-read goes beautifully, get the callback. 4 hours later, I’m back in the same room for two guys who are, I assume the producer and director. It’s a blur. I’ve been up over 12 hours by now, and I have a 3 hour drive back to Dallas after the audition. I THINK I did the same (terrific!) audition for these dudes that I did for the CD, but that may have been a dream.

Anyway…now it’s wait and see time. It’s Saturday, I’m back in Austin safe and more or less sound. I think I would have heard already IF I had booked the role. My agent says ‘keep the faith’ as they are still finalizing a prior episode. So we shall see. Was the $1000 trip (lost earnings, expenses) worth it for a $700 day player role, that I have yet to book? We shall see how it all plays out… What…and give up show business?

Have SAG Card, Will Travel

Wow…it’s been a hectic schedule lately…

The Texas based actor has to travel. The normal circuit is Austin -> Dallas -> Houston. Now you can add Shreveport, LA to the mix.

In the past week I’ve been to Dallas 3 times and Shreveport once. I think I’m too old for this! … With all the work that has moved to Louisiana (see previous post on film industry incentives) … it looks like if we Texas actors want to work, we’re going to be working at least some of the time in Louisiana. In Dallas I read for Roadhouse 2 ….I know, if you’ve seen Roadhouse, you’re probably thinking “is there really a NEED for Roadhouse 2″ …but actors like me don’t get to choose which project we will allow ourselves to be submitted for … the agent calls and we go. As previously stated in this blog, without work, there is no insurance…that’s medical insurance. So whether it’s Roadhouse 2, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 75, or whatever, I’m probably going to audition if I get the chance.

Now this often presents something of a moral dilemma. Do I really want to appear in either of the aforementioned epics? Well, from an aesthetic or moral perspective….NO. From a practical perspective (let’s see…wife has cancer….need insurance…must work to get/keep insurance) Yes.
So I find myself auditioning for things I’m not that wild about, to say the least. Welcome to the world of professional acting. Sometimes…it’s just a job. MOST of the time, it’s just a job. Sometimes you get to do DANCER, TX POP 81, but not often.

I was in Shreveport on Thursday to audition for a new FX series called THIEF . Financially, I’m not sure this audition is not worth the trip. It’s a day role and given that it’s costing me two days away from home + gas ($2.79 – $2.99/gal on the trip), it’s hard to justify on the money alone.

But, Fincannon & Assoc. are casting and I’ve never met the Fincannons. They’re a long established North Carolina company that has moved into Louisiana with all the film production there. So it’s worth the trip for the ‘promise’ of future auditions/work. I’m reading for ‘Preacher’. I love it when characters don’t have a real name…yeah…I love it. But, the role is well written and, I’ve played this type character, and enjoy doing so – see SCREEN DOOR JESUS.

Never having met anyone at Fincannon, I have to pre-read. That means I read with the CD before she presents me to the producer and/or director (who can hire or not). Pre-read goes beautifully, get the callback. 4 hours later, I’m back in the same room for two guys who are, I assume the producer and director. It’s a blur. I’ve been up over 12 hours by now, and I have a 3 hour drive back to Dallas after the audition. I THINK I did the same (terrific!) audition for these dudes that I did for the CD, but that may have been a dream.

Anyway…now it’s wait and see time. It’s Saturday, I’m back in Austin safe and more or less sound. I think I would have heard already IF I had booked the role. My agent says ‘keep the faith’ as they are still finalizing a prior episode. So we shall see. Was the $1000 trip (lost earnings, expenses) worth it for a $700 day player role, that I have yet to book? We shall see how it all plays out… What…and give up show business?