Aunt E: A letter too late in the writing

Dear Aunt E:

Good Christian lady, loving wife, mother and grandmother, daughter, sister and aunt extraordinaire:

I should have told you this sooner.

There is something I’ve thought about for years, on and off, especially around holidays or family get-togethers and it concerns you.

“Hello, Tommy. I’m Jane’s Aunt Yvonne. Just call me ‘Aunt E’. Everybody does.” Those words…that’s how I remember them… were first heard by me almost forty years ago. Aunt E, you were the first person I remember making me feel a welcome part of the Buford family. Now this goes back to before Jane and I were even married…barely dating, in fact, all those years ago. I can’t remember if it was a Thanksgiving, Christmas or other ‘event’ holiday or just one of those ‘meet the boyfriend’ things that all young people must endure, but I clearly remember your presence and the way I felt accepted and ‘invited in’ by you. I’m sure I never thanked you for that. I thank you now.

How many times since have I seen you ‘rescue’ some new girlfriend, boyfriend, friend friend or casual acquaintance of one of your children, nieces or nephews who found themselves walking into a new set of people and feeling out of place? I’m not the only one you were the first to make welcome over the years. Not by a long shot. Fact is, with you in the room, everyone there felt more welcome. Not many people have the gift to make guests feel comfortable and welcome in a new and strange setting. I doubt you thought of it as a gift…I doubt you thought about such things at all. It’s just who you were.

At Thanksgiving, year after year, I saw what was commonplace at our family shindigs….you, helping prepare the food, then working the room amongst the ‘new people’ (there are always a few guests at a Buford family function), welcoming them and pushing them to the front of the food line, as you worked your way back, back, to the end of the line. First to give, last to receive, and then only reluctantly. Thanks for setting that kind of example.

I don’t know if I could count the number of times Jane or I received a ‘little something’ from your hand or in an envelope to take along on a vacation, to celebrate an occasion with a ‘nice meal’ or because you didn’t feel like the gift you had just presented was quite ‘enough’. Generous…always generous. In watching you interact with your nieces, nephews and friends of same, one who didn’t know better could easily come to the conclusion that these were your own children. For these and so many more examples of your kindness, generosity and love, I want to thank you.

I’ve said nothing of your famous…well famous in our family at least…pecan pies and Bourbon balls. Wow. Thanksgiving without Aunt E’s pecan pies and Bourbon balls…unthinkable.

Aunt E, you took us by surprise. There’s a lesson here, no doubt.

On December 19, 2005, Yvonne Buford suffered a heart attack. That night at the hospital Jane and I had the honor of standing with the Buford family as they said ‘goodbye’ to their wife and mother and to our Aunt E. as she passed from this life on earth to eternal life with God the Father. The peaceful feeling in that room was remarkable as the welcomer became the welcomed – into an eternity for which she was well prepared.

God bless you, Aunt E. I will miss you.

With love,

Tommy

Aunt E: A letter too late in the writing

Dear Aunt E:

Good Christian lady, loving wife, mother and grandmother, daughter, sister and aunt extraordinaire:

I should have told you this sooner.

There is something I’ve thought about for years, on and off, especially around holidays or family get-togethers and it concerns you.

“Hello, Tommy. I’m Jane’s Aunt Yvonne. Just call me ‘Aunt E’. Everybody does.” Those words…that’s how I remember them… were first heard by me almost forty years ago. Aunt E, you were the first person I remember making me feel a welcome part of the Buford family. Now this goes back to before Jane and I were even married…barely dating, in fact, all those years ago. I can’t remember if it was a Thanksgiving, Christmas or other ‘event’ holiday or just one of those ‘meet the boyfriend’ things that all young people must endure, but I clearly remember your presence and the way I felt accepted and ‘invited in’ by you. I’m sure I never thanked you for that. I thank you now.

How many times since have I seen you ‘rescue’ some new girlfriend, boyfriend, friend friend or casual acquaintance of one of your children, nieces or nephews who found themselves walking into a new set of people and feeling out of place? I’m not the only one you were the first to make welcome over the years. Not by a long shot. Fact is, with you in the room, everyone there felt more welcome. Not many people have the gift to make guests feel comfortable and welcome in a new and strange setting. I doubt you thought of it as a gift…I doubt you thought about such things at all. It’s just who you were.

At Thanksgiving, year after year, I saw what was commonplace at our family shindigs….you, helping prepare the food, then working the room amongst the ‘new people’ (there are always a few guests at a Buford family function), welcoming them and pushing them to the front of the food line, as you worked your way back, back, to the end of the line. First to give, last to receive, and then only reluctantly. Thanks for setting that kind of example.

I don’t know if I could count the number of times Jane or I received a ‘little something’ from your hand or in an envelope to take along on a vacation, to celebrate an occasion with a ‘nice meal’ or because you didn’t feel like the gift you had just presented was quite ‘enough’. Generous…always generous. In watching you interact with your nieces, nephews and friends of same, one who didn’t know better could easily come to the conclusion that these were your own children. For these and so many more examples of your kindness, generosity and love, I want to thank you.

I’ve said nothing of your famous…well famous in our family at least…pecan pies and Bourbon balls. Wow. Thanksgiving without Aunt E’s pecan pies and Bourbon balls…unthinkable.

Aunt E, you took us by surprise. There’s a lesson here, no doubt.

On December 19, 2005, Yvonne Buford suffered a heart attack. That night at the hospital Jane and I had the honor of standing with the Buford family as they said ‘goodbye’ to their wife and mother and to our Aunt E. as she passed from this life on earth to eternal life with God the Father. The peaceful feeling in that room was remarkable as the welcomer became the welcomed – into an eternity for which she was well prepared.

God bless you, Aunt E. I will miss you.

With love,

Tommy

Tender Mercies – More Than A Great Movie

We’re smiling today that’s for sure.

King David summed up our feelings of today pretty well when he wrote:

Bless the LORD, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits:
Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies…

Tender mercies, indeed. Biopsy results show no sign of a return of cancer. Thanks for all the prayers and support. Jane thanks you and I thank you.

Tender Mercies – More Than A Great Movie

We’re smiling today that’s for sure.

King David summed up our feelings of today pretty well when he wrote:

Bless the LORD, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits:
Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies…

Tender mercies, indeed. Biopsy results show no sign of a return of cancer. Thanks for all the prayers and support. Jane thanks you and I thank you.

Day surgery…what the heck is that?

Jane had ‘day surgery’ on Thursday. Why do they call it ‘day surgery’? I’ve lived a pretty good number of years. I’ve had surgery. I’ve had other family members who’ve had surgery. I’ve never seen a surgery start in the daytime and go into the night. Other than emergencies, are surgeries even performed at night?

This must be a term which has been developed in more recent time which really means: We’re going to do surgery on you or your loved one. It would cost way more than your insurance would want to pay to keep this person in the hospital beyond the time when they are able to suck down some jello and appear to be awake. So, from now on, we’re calling it ‘day surgery’.

Jane had ‘day surgery’ on ThursDAY. The purpose, as stated in an earlier post, was to clean out some scar tissue left after her mastectomy and to biopsy any tissue they took out.

Thankfully, surgery went without excitement and the doctor BELIEVES from a visual inspection of the tissue that there is no malignancy. We will know more on Monday when results of the biopsy are back.

Thanks to all friends and others who may have seen these posts and who have included Jane in your prayers.

Say another prayer for her and for my sweet mom. Mom, who lives with us, will be 89 on January 13th. She is starting to fade a bit, I’m afraid. She’s a tough old lady and has all her mental faculties, thank God. But, physically, she is waning. She knows it and we can see it as well. May God grant her a happy and stress free time for the remainder of her life…however long that may be. She’s my mom and I love her.

Day surgery…what the heck is that?

Jane had ‘day surgery’ on Thursday. Why do they call it ‘day surgery’? I’ve lived a pretty good number of years. I’ve had surgery. I’ve had other family members who’ve had surgery. I’ve never seen a surgery start in the daytime and go into the night. Other than emergencies, are surgeries even performed at night?

This must be a term which has been developed in more recent time which really means: We’re going to do surgery on you or your loved one. It would cost way more than your insurance would want to pay to keep this person in the hospital beyond the time when they are able to suck down some jello and appear to be awake. So, from now on, we’re calling it ‘day surgery’.

Jane had ‘day surgery’ on ThursDAY. The purpose, as stated in an earlier post, was to clean out some scar tissue left after her mastectomy and to biopsy any tissue they took out.

Thankfully, surgery went without excitement and the doctor BELIEVES from a visual inspection of the tissue that there is no malignancy. We will know more on Monday when results of the biopsy are back.

Thanks to all friends and others who may have seen these posts and who have included Jane in your prayers.

Say another prayer for her and for my sweet mom. Mom, who lives with us, will be 89 on January 13th. She is starting to fade a bit, I’m afraid. She’s a tough old lady and has all her mental faculties, thank God. But, physically, she is waning. She knows it and we can see it as well. May God grant her a happy and stress free time for the remainder of her life…however long that may be. She’s my mom and I love her.

Wishing it were Chili Time, Not Chilly Time

Winter has finally hit Austin and it’s cold here today!

Unfortunately, it’s not only the weather that is cold. The film business is also suffering from a bit of a cold spell as well. Or at least this actor is.

Work always slows down during Thanksgiving and Christmas and through the start of the new year. Just the way it usually goes.

Adding to the coldness:

I’ve written previously about the adverse impact Texas actors have
suffered because of the Louisiana production boom. The situation continues to erode, it seems.

For example: Got a call from my agent to go to Dallas to read for a film role. Okay…not wild about driving to Dallas, but I’ve done it dozens of times…used to do it regularly when WALKER, TX RANGER was still in production. That wasn’t bad. Go to Dallas, read for the producer, get the gig or not and get back home. At least in that situation you’re reading for the person who can hire you.

Often, actors have to pre-read…or read for the casting director who puts you on tape and you leave not knowing if you’re even getting a callback, much less whether you’ve gotten the job or not.

Going out of town for a pre-read, then is a somewhat costly proposition. But it CAN be worth it…if the role is sufficient to represent enough work to offset the audition expense and turn the actor a profit. PROFIT. This is a business. Actors must eventually make a profit in order to stay in business. Not that difficult to
understand, right?

Well…the Dallas pre-read was for only a day or MAYBE two of work. Now if the role was a day like I did on SCREEN DOOR JESUS, I would jump at it. That (preacher) was a fun character to work on and I enjoyed the gig. Of course it was shot in Austin, so that was a bonus. Not much money, but no travel and a nice piece to work on. Winning situation.

But, in this instance, not only was there a pre-read in Dallas, but callbacks – IF I made the callbacks – would be in Baton Rouge, LA!!! At this point the potential $$$$ received is not looking like it will be sufficient to even break even, much less turn a profit on the gig. Add to THAT – because the project is shooting in LA, the producers will not want to pay the usual additional fees: per diem, travel and housing – and it is just a no brainer, no go. I’d have been paying THEM to do the job if I booked it.

Such is the life, right now at least, of the regional character actor.

Cold. Hopefully, there will be some local production…rumors…rumors….that will generate some employment opportunities. In the meantime, no work means no health insurance through SAG if something doesn’t break soon. No pressure.

What….and give up show business?

Wishing it were Chili Time, Not Chilly Time

Winter has finally hit Austin and it’s cold here today!

Unfortunately, it’s not only the weather that is cold. The film business is also suffering from a bit of a cold spell as well. Or at least this actor is.

Work always slows down during Thanksgiving and Christmas and through the start of the new year. Just the way it usually goes.

Adding to the coldness:

I’ve written previously about the adverse impact Texas actors have
suffered because of the Louisiana production boom. The situation continues to erode, it seems.

For example: Got a call from my agent to go to Dallas to read for a film role. Okay…not wild about driving to Dallas, but I’ve done it dozens of times…used to do it regularly when WALKER, TX RANGER was still in production. That wasn’t bad. Go to Dallas, read for the producer, get the gig or not and get back home. At least in that situation you’re reading for the person who can hire you.

Often, actors have to pre-read…or read for the casting director who puts you on tape and you leave not knowing if you’re even getting a callback, much less whether you’ve gotten the job or not.

Going out of town for a pre-read, then is a somewhat costly proposition. But it CAN be worth it…if the role is sufficient to represent enough work to offset the audition expense and turn the actor a profit. PROFIT. This is a business. Actors must eventually make a profit in order to stay in business. Not that difficult to
understand, right?

Well…the Dallas pre-read was for only a day or MAYBE two of work. Now if the role was a day like I did on SCREEN DOOR JESUS, I would jump at it. That (preacher) was a fun character to work on and I enjoyed the gig. Of course it was shot in Austin, so that was a bonus. Not much money, but no travel and a nice piece to work on. Winning situation.

But, in this instance, not only was there a pre-read in Dallas, but callbacks – IF I made the callbacks – would be in Baton Rouge, LA!!! At this point the potential $$$$ received is not looking like it will be sufficient to even break even, much less turn a profit on the gig. Add to THAT – because the project is shooting in LA, the producers will not want to pay the usual additional fees: per diem, travel and housing – and it is just a no brainer, no go. I’d have been paying THEM to do the job if I booked it.

Such is the life, right now at least, of the regional character actor.

Cold. Hopefully, there will be some local production…rumors…rumors….that will generate some employment opportunities. In the meantime, no work means no health insurance through SAG if something doesn’t break soon. No pressure.

What….and give up show business?

Season’s over…surgery coming

Well, our favorite hs football team, the Pflugerville Connally Cougars lost a very tough state semi-final game to the Marshall Mavericks on Dec. 3, 2005. Final score Mavs 24 Cougars 17. Two great teams. Congratulations to the Mavs who play Highland Park next weekend for the state 4A Div I championship.

Mentioned last time that Jane was having a biopsy. Didn’t happen yet. The Dr. doesn’t think, from his exam that she has a problem. GOOD NEWS. However, they are going to do a day surgery this week to clean up scar tissue and they will do the biopsy at that time. Keep her in your prayers.

As those of you who either have cancer or have loved ones who do/did, it’s sort of a constant battle to keep everything on a positive track. Thanks for all the friends and family for continued, loving support.

Season’s over…surgery coming

Well, our favorite hs football team, the Pflugerville Connally Cougars lost a very tough state semi-final game to the Marshall Mavericks on Dec. 3, 2005. Final score Mavs 24 Cougars 17. Two great teams. Congratulations to the Mavs who play Highland Park next weekend for the state 4A Div I championship.

Mentioned last time that Jane was having a biopsy. Didn’t happen yet. The Dr. doesn’t think, from his exam that she has a problem. GOOD NEWS. However, they are going to do a day surgery this week to clean up scar tissue and they will do the biopsy at that time. Keep her in your prayers.

As those of you who either have cancer or have loved ones who do/did, it’s sort of a constant battle to keep everything on a positive track. Thanks for all the friends and family for continued, loving support.